Love is a Temporary Madness
by ShenanaginsProductions
Summary: What are the circumstances surrounding Noah Gray’s birth? Who is his mother? Why is he blonde? How can he exist in this new timeline? When was he conceived? SylarxOC.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Love is a Temporary Madness

Author: Pinky and the Brain/ ShenanaginsProductions

Summary: What are the circumstances surrounding Noah Gray's birth? Who is his mother? Why is he blonde? How can he exist in this new timeline? When was he conceived?

Disclaimer: We wish we owned Sylar, but we don't. He belongs to the creators of Heroes, as does the rest of the world. We think.

A/N

Brain's Notes: This story is EATING MY BRAIN. For God's sake just READ it so I won't explode! This is a story thought up by kittenspawn, about the circumstances surrounding the birth of Noah Gray ^.^ Who is his mother? Why is he blond? How can he exist in this new universe where Sylar is Nathan? Now you knooowww!

This is Pinky's first fic, and my first collaborative story, so please be gentle! Reviews are like crack for us. For real. So get us high.

We're not sure how consistent we can be with posting chapters, but we'll try to post one at least once a week!

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Nathan Petrelli did not feel like himself.

His family insisted that all his worries were over; done. Sylar was dead, his body nothing more than ashes, all the terrible deeds and sins he committed fading into distant memory. So why did he feel like his problems were only beginning?

Nathan slowly picked up that morning's paper, splashed with news of another mysterious drowning death. He had wanted to read the article before his lunch date with his Ma, but time simply didn't allow.

The clock on Nathan's bookcase ticked quietly, the small sound piercing the silence like a panicked heartbeat.

Nathan's thoughts began to drift, as they consistently did whenever he allowed his mind to wander, back to his final encounter with Sylar. There were so many blanks in his recollection, so many hardly vivid images and blurry silhouettes. He thought that he remembered blood- a lot of it, trickling in a gruesomely beautiful pattern onto the floor, but his brother's account insisted there had been a minimal amount of bleeding. There was something missing; no, there was a lot missing...

Why did his mother stare at him when she thought he couldn't see? Why was it that whenever he saw Noah Bennett, the man was smiling in that patronizing manner? Why…

**RING RING RING**

The phone jolted Nathan back into reality. His legs slid off his desk and landed with a 'thump' on the floor.

To answer, or not to answer?

Nathan couldn't sit in his office and brood all day.

"Yes?"

"Sir, we have a women here trying to gain access to your office. She says she's expected."

Nathan sighed in frustration. The recent formation of a government owned company, much like the one that hid in plan sight as Primatech paper, continually made his work life difficult.

The secret service was only doing their job, at his mother's request. Having noticed that Nathan was not feeling himself, she made a call to up security in his building.

"Ma, I'm FINE." He had told her over lunch.

"Nathan. You are a United States Senator. Who knows how many people out there may be trying to hurt you? This is for your own protection." She had just ended the call requesting security be doubled in Nathan's building.

Nathan was finding the change difficult, especially when a service agent followed him to the men's room and insisted on standing less than a foot away.

"Women?" Nathan repeated slowly, tapping the desk. "What does she look like?"

There was a pause. "She's short. Blonde. Do you know her?"

"Uh, no. I believe I have a new secretary scheduled to begin work today. Check her ID and send her up," Nathan ordered.

"Sir, I am under instruction that no one is to have access to your section of the building without approval…" the agent began.

Nathan huffed and stood up. "I'll be down in a moment." Muttering to himself about meddling mothers, he adjusted his tie and stepped crisply from his office.

Down in the lobby, he was greeted by a surly looking security guard glaring at a petite young woman. In her hands she held a tray with two large coffee cups, and over her shoulders were heaped several briefcases and portable computer bags. It appeared as though she were about to collapse under the weight, and with every word uttered by the guard, her frame sagged even more.

"Look, I'm trying to tell you," she panted, "I WORK here! My name is Juliette O'Neil, and I should be on the employee roster. No one told me I would need a special clearance for this job." She shifted the tray of coffee from one hand to another and fumbled to reach the folder in one of the cases that visibly weighed her down.

After a moment of watching as she pathetically attempted to keep her balance, Nathan could stay quiet no longer. "Let me help you." He extended an arm to her reaching for the heaviest case, removing it from her thin shoulders.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you!" She sighed, setting the cups of coffee on the ground and reaching into her bag.

"Here." she flashed a badge and a notice of employment to the agent. "Will this do?" Her green eyes narrowed with annoyance as the agent inspected her paperwork.

'_If this guy makes me lose my job, I don't know what I'll do._' She thought, biting her lip.

Juliette's fear was well founded. She had been through four employers in the past twelve months. She needed this job, and the excellent medical benefits it came with, so she could afford the medication and doctor's visits that kept her alive.

The agent glanced at Nathan, who had not yet introduced himself to Juliette.

"Everything checks out. You can go right up, Ms O'Neil." He said at last.

"Thanks," she said as she put the folder back in her bag and picked up the coffee cups. "For nothing," she added under her breath.

She quickly started up the stairs to Nathan Petrelli's office, completely forgetting the kind man who was holding the heaviest of her luggage.

"Hey, wait a moment!" Nathan shouted as she ascended the staircase. He followed her swiftly, carrying the bags.

Juliette pivoted quickly, embarrassed, and in her haste, lost track of her own feet. Time seemed to slow as she heard the heel of her left shoe snap under the force of her turn. She felt the balance leave her body and she closed her eyes, praying for a safe landing.

She fell forward, and expected to tumble, but instead landed face first in the chest of the man who had helped her with the bags. The coffee she was carrying spilled down his shirt as the cups clattered down to the stairs below them.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked concernedly, grabbing her shoulders gently and helping her right herself. He was almost shocked at the ease with which he could lift her back to her feet. She must have been no more than ninety pounds, a sickly weight for such a vibrant-looking girl.

"Oh my Gosh! Your shirt! You! Are you alright?!" she gasped, a blush coloring her pale cheeks a bright crimson.

Nathan flashed a small half smile at the women, whose light hair had come undone as she escaped what could have been a dangerous fall. Delicate strands of it fell over her glasses, obstructing her vision. She quickly brushed her hair away and began to apologize again.

"I'm sorry. It's just my first day here, and I wanted to make a good impression on my boss because I really need this job, so I brought him coffee and now…" she trailed off, staring sadly at the searing hot stain on his shirt.

"Don't give it another thought, I mean it. I'm fine." Nathan assured her as they began to climb the staircase again. She had to stay one step above him just to maintain eye level.

"Well, thank you for saving me." She said weakly.

"No Problem." Nathan smiled.

"Do you happen to know where Nathan Petrelli's Office is? That's where I work."

"Of course I do." Nathan placed his hand on the small of her back. A spark of static electricity snapped and startled him, but she seemed not to notice. He pointed her in the direction of his office

"It's MY office."

Juliette's heart sank to her feet, and her shy smile left her face.

"Great. Way to make a good impression, Jules." She muttered to herself, her cheeks flushing again with embarrassment.

Nathan chuckled and smiled. "It's fine, really. Quite frankly, the most excitement I have had in weeks."

"Really? I thought the life of a senator would be all kinds of exciting," she said inquisitorially.

"Not anymore." Nathan shrugged, thinking back to his days of fighting Sylar to ensure the safety of the world.

"Well." There was an awkward silence between the two. Juliette cleared her throat. "I had better get to work." she said at last, placing her bags on her desk and taking the other two from Nathan. "Already late as it is." She raised her shoulders gently as his lips twisted in a grin.

"Okay, I'll be in here is you need saving." Nathan pointed to his door as her cheeks flushed pink again with embarrassment.

He stopped at the door as Juliette began settling into her new space.

"Miss O'Neil?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"What kind of coffee is this on my shirt?"

She smiled. "Decaf Soy Latte. Someone told me it was your favorite."

"Hmm. It is. Great work."

Juliette kept smiling as Nathan disappeared into his office.

He sat down at his desk and propped his feet back up.

"Yup. Most excitement I've had in a long time."

__

As the days passed, turning in to weeks, Juliette grew more and more comfortable with her new boss. She learned to pay no mind when he drifted of into space for what seemed like hours, though it did concern her a bit.

Today, like she did every day after returning from lunch, she gently knocked on Nathan door with his afternoon Latte.

"Sir?" She asked tentatively when she noticed he was not at his desk.

"Hmm?" Nathan was once again staring at the clock, on his bookcase, his hands clasped behind his back, and an expression of worry and puzzlement on his face. He turned to face her, and when he caught her eye the worry seemed to melt away into a smile.

"Oh, Juliette. I told you, call me Nathan."

She blushed and gave a faint laugh "I don't think that is the best of ideas, Senator."

She turned her head quickly, avoiding what appeared to be a look of disappointment. She knew she was growing very fond of him, almost… too fond.

Come on, Jules. You can NOT screw this up! They want to do another EKG today and you cannot afford it without insurance.

"Oh. Fine then, Ms. O'Neil" Nathan's smile had left his face, and he turned back to the clock.

Juliette cleared her through gently in the hopes to gain his attention once more.

"Um, Senator? I have to head out for the day. I mentioned it a few days ago?" Juliette could see that Nathan was once again not paying attention. "Senator?" She reached out and placed her hand on his left shoulder. His eyes snapped back into focus.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, unable to hide her growing concern over his increasingly strange behavior.

"No. It's this clock." Nathan muttered

Juliette felt her heart drop

The clock. AGAIN.

"Well, I did call the repairman, but to do an onsite will still be a bit." She'd told him this before, several times. "Why don't you just let me drop it off for repair when I go to my appointment this afternoon?"

"No." Nathan barked. I took her aback.

"I'm Sorry, I just thought that-" she began

"The clock stays here." Nathan's eyes had gone dark, almost menacing. It was the first time Juliette had ever seen her boss upset like that. He was usually so calm and collected.

"Alright." She said nervously. "You're the boss."

She turned and hurried out of his study more hastily than she could ever recall doing in the short time she worked there. Why was she suddenly afraid of the man she'd spent her days working for in the recent past?

She reached on her tip toes to get her purse and overcoat from the tall coat rack. Everything in the world seemed to be made to tall for her small stature, and most of the items in Nathan's office where no exception. As she tried to pull her coat from the rack, it tipped, smashing the framed painting on the wall beside it.

""Oh!" She gasped, closing her eyes, as if the action would once again protect her.

It did not. Glass shattered from the frame like a rain shower, landing on the floor with an ironically musical tinkling sound.

Juliette turned, almost paralyzed with fear, to see Nathan standing near her, a look in his eyes she had never seen before.

""I am so sorry!" she cried, fearful of him growing angry with her again. "I was just trying to get my- and you see, it was too tall and I'm…""She trailed off

"I'm fired, aren't I?" She held her breath, waiting for the explosion that was no doubt on its way.

Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes in a way that made her feel more secure than she ever had. Secure in a way that a boss should not make an employee feel.

"I apologize. I've been,"" Nathan paused, ""Well, not myself recently."

His eyes met hers, and he held his gaze for what seemed like an eternity. Transfixed, she found herself unable to break away. His hands felt so strong and protective on her shoulders, which were still shuddering from the shock of the broken frame.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" He lowered his posture a bit to meet her at eye level. His face was close to hers, his dark eyes soft with concern. She could feel his warm breath falling lightly on her cheek. He smelled like peppermint and lemon, and for one crazy instant she thought that maybe he kept candy canes and lemon drops in his desk so he had a snack on hand whenever he got bored.

Juliette swallowed hard, and found herself glancing at the door as though searching for a way to escape. She didn't want to leave… and that was bad. Very bad.

"I, um… No. No sir," she answered slowly. He squeezed her shoulders gently before letting his hands drop to his sides and straightened up, adjusting his tie.

"You had better be along to your appointment," he said pointedly. She found herself at a loss for words. "Where is it you're going again?"

"The doctor… routine check-up, you know." She was slowly becoming aware of reality, as though shaking out of a very long trance.

"Oh." He said, as though this was the first he had heard of it. The nagging concern worked its way into Juliette's mind once again.

""I have, well…"" She lowered her eyes and stepped backwards.

'Do NOT tell him. He will think you're weak.'

"Just a thing. Can't reschedule, unfortunately,"" she finished lamely. "I've mentioned it before. It's actually on the calendar, too." She pointed over his shoulder at the large planner on the wall.

Nathan crumpled his forehead slightly, a look of puzzlement stretched across his face. He stood silent for a moment.

"Oh. Well, then have a great afternoon off."" He said, matter-of-factly.

"Thank you."

Juliette turned and walked hurriedly towards the exit. She paused just outside the doorway and looked over her shoulder, "Sir, I'm really sorry about the painting."

Nathan waved her off. "It's nothing. Piece of old junk left here by the last guy. I'll have maintenance clean up the mess."" He smiled. That smile gave Juliette a feeling him her stomach that shouldn't have been there.

"See you tomorrow then?"" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."" Her boss agreed distantly.

Juliette descended the stairs quickly and hailed a cab just outside the building.

"Where to, my friend?" the cabbie asked her politely.

"Sarah Lawrence, Cardiovascular Disorders entrance, please" she directed.

"Right away." With a gracious smile the cabbie got them slowly on their way. Jules sighed audibly, leaning her head back against the soft cushion and closing her eyes.

_"…and I hope you all have a wonderful evening!"_

_Scattered applause followed the governor's speech, and he smiled down at his well-dressed audience, champagne flute in hand. Juliette swirled the golden liquid around her own glass, watching as the bubbles rose to the surface and disappeared noiselessly. This was her first official work party; she was surrounded by colleagues, none of whom she knew, and she felt as out of place as a fish out of water. The skin-tight black dress she wore hardly compared to the glitzy gowns donned by the rest of the ladies in the room. She felt poor, and underdressed. She had barley scraped by on her first paycheck; she hadn't had enough money left over to buy new clothes._

_The crowds in front of the stage dispersed as the governor stepped down to mingle with his guests. Julie sighed and took a small sip of her drink._

_"Hey, babe, are you as bored as I am?" A man appeared next to her out of nowhere, appareled in a blue tie and smelling strongly of wine._

_Jules shuffled her feet uncomfortably. "No, I'm fine, thanks." She made to walk away, but Mr. Blue-Tie followed after her none too gracefully._

_"Who are you?" He asked. He was tall, although everyone was all to Jules. He looked to be about 5'8, with light hair and light eyes and a sloppy grin on his face._

_"My name is Juliette, I was recently employed Senator Petrelli's secretary," she informed him._

_The use of mature vocabulary threw him off, and for a moment he stared at her blankly. "Oh," he said at last. "I'm Ben, I work for the governor." He didn't hold out his hand, and she wouldn't have taken it if he did._

_"Goodbye, Ben." She said with some finality._

_"Goodbye? Baby, we just started talking!" He made to take her by the arm, and she yanked herself out of his reach._

_"I'm not your baby," she muttered._

_"C'mon. You wouldn't wear that unless you wanted something from us guys." Ben looked her up and down, a sick grin on his face. She adjusted the skirt of her dress. She knew it was a bit too snug, but it was old, and the only one she owned. If she'd had any other dresses, she would have worn one._

_"I think you're drunk, and you need to go away," she said quietly._

_"I'll show you drunk," Ben laughed, dragging her closer to him by the elbow. Jules's eyes widened and she made to shove him off, but he was much stronger than she was. She felt her heart skip a beat. Couldn't anyone see this happening? Why wasn't anyone stopping him?_

_"Tsk tsk. Such manners…"_

_Jules never thought she would feel so relived to hear Senator Petrelli's voice._

_Both she and Ben turned to face him at the same time. Nathan had the strangest look on his face, spiteful, menacing… his hands were balled so tightly into fists at his sides Jules could see the whites of his knuckles._

_"Excuse me; can't you see I'm busy?" Ben asked, sneering._

_Nathan smiled ruefully. "Miss O'Neil, do you like him touching you that way?" He asked._

_Juliette shook her head vehemently._

_Nathan stepped forward, and Ben relinquished his grasp. Jules stumbled backwards, her high heels almost causing her to fall to the ground. The senator paused only long enough to help her regain her balance, before continuing his advancement on Ben._

_"What, so this bitch is yours?" Ben asked._

_Nathan's rage was suddenly no longer repressed. He grabbed Ben by his collar and brought their faces close. "Gentlemen don't swear in front of ladies." He breathed slowly. He shoved Ben away, grinding his teeth. His hand twitched as though it wished to continue attacking him, but Nathan kept in control._

_Jules watched, eyes wide, as Ben staggered fearfully away, almost knocking over the punch table in his haste. Nathan stood with his back to her for a moment, his shoulders heaving as he struggled with himself._

_"Senator?" Juliette squeaked uncertainly._

_Nathan's head twitched at the sound of his name. "I'm sorry." He said, without turning around. "I had a momentary lapse in judgment. Forgive me." And he left, without another word._

___

_Juliette strode out of the bathroom, thoughts whizzing about her head like a swarm of angry bees. Her mind was still reeling over the lengths Nathan had gone to protect her; there was something cheesily romantic about it, and she felt oddly giddy, like an eight grade girl who was just complimented by her crush. On the flip side, Nathan had intimidated and frightened her. She hadn't known he could be quite so violent. At least 'Ben' had caused no physical damage that she could see, and she scouted the room in search of Nathan so she could tell him how thankful she was for his help._

_"…causing a scene like that!"_

_Jules paused mid-step as the sound of a woman sternly chastising someone reached her ears._

_"It won't happen again, Ma. I'm sorry." That was Nathan's voice!_

_Juliette slowly crept forward and peered around a corner, where she saw a short tight-lipped woman with her arms crossed, lecturing Nathan in a hushed tone._

_"All for a silly little secretary!" Angel Petrelli said sourly._

_"She's not a silly little secretary, Ma. She's… she's…" Nathan couldn't seem to find the right words._

_"Below you. Far below you," Angela interjected. "She doesn't deserve you, Nathan. You have an image to uphold, and causing trouble like this is not helping your political career!"_

_"He was hurting her. I couldn't just stand by…" Nathan began._

_"Yes, you could have. You should have. Like I said, Nathan, she doesn't deserve you. Whatever thoughts you may have had about her are wrong. Those girls are all the same. Small, blonde, innocent… she'll hurt you, dear. It's best you stick to your own kind." Angela finished. Nathan didn't answer._

_Jules was frozen to the spot, fighting against tears that threatened to smudge her mascara._

_She didn't deserve Nathan Petrelli, and she was stupid for ever thinking she did. She was a weak, fragile, sick little secretary, and he deserved so much more…_

_Nathan was special, and Jules just couldn't compare._

The cab pulled up to the hospital curb, snapping Juliette out of her reminiscence. After fumbling with the door for a moment, she finally managed to escape the hot little car. She approached the driver's side window and looked at her cabbie.

"How much?" she asked, dragging out her purse and digging through it for her wallet.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Miss," the cabbie waved her off smoothly.

"No, no, I insist!" Juliette exclaimed.

The cabbie locked eyes with her, and he smiled. "I hope you get well soon." He said quietly.

He was gone before she had the chance to respond.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Love is a Temporary Madness

Author: Pinky and the Brain/ ShenanaginsProductions

Summary: What are the circumstances surrounding Noah Gray's birth? Who is his mother? Why is he blonde? How can he exist in this new timeline? When was he conceived?

Disclaimer: We wish we owned Sylar, but we don't. He belongs to the creators of Heroes, as does the rest of the world. We think.

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Juliette O'Neil sat patiently in the waiting room of the unfamiliar hospital. The recent changes in her employment meant that she once again had to jump through hoops to see a doctor. Every time she moved to a new job, her credit went further down the drain, and she lost all the health insurance benefits that she had been working under.

But it wasn't all bad. Working for Senator Nathan Petrelli was a great job. While the Senator rushed about with his important political issues (which quite frankly, Juliette didn't understand in the slightest), all Juliette had to do was make sure he knew where he was going at what time, that he called back the important business figures that needed to speak with him, and that he always had his mid-afternoon Latte so that he didn't get cranky.

Despite the fast pace and demands of the job, for some reason Nathan allowed Juliette more flexibility than other members of his staff. He never questioned when she needed an afternoon off for an appointment, and even suggested she take a bit of paid leave after a particularly upsetting incident at the Governor's Fund Raiser. No employer had ever been so kind to her.

This special treatment made Juliette feel all the more confused about her professional relationship with the Senator. She could sense the odd stares and judgmental glances from the other people in her building growing in number everyday, and Nathan's extremely out of character behavior at the Fund Raiser had only made the whispers and office gossip increase.

As Juliette walked into the room for her EKG Test, she worried what would be found. Once again, the medications she so desperately relied on to keep her alive were not working the way that they should. She unbuttoned her blouse and laid on the sleek, hard table as the technician attached cold electrodes to her chest.

"Not even gonna buy me a drink first?" she nervously quipped as he pressed a pad to her breast.

He looked down at her with a harsh glare.

Okay. Not a joker. She thought.

"No talking during the test," he snapped once the test began.

Yeah, I KNOW, not my first time at this rodeo. She thought.

She closed her eyes and drifted back into her own thoughts.

If only she hadn't mentioned that stupid clock today, she wouldn't have been so nervous. She knew that Nathan was particularly sensitive about the clock, and it seemed to trouble him so.

Sure it was running fast, but clocks do that sometimes. She had lost count of the number of times she had walked into his office and found him completely intoxicated by the clock.

She offered to take in to be repaired, or even get it replaced, but he always refused. It was almost as though he enjoyed the fact that it was running fast. It gave him something to think about, something to figure out…

Finally, one day a few weeks ago, she had had enough and called a repairman for an on site call.

_

_She caught hell from security for it._

_"Ms. O'Neil? What part of 'no unauthorized personnel' do you not understand?" The same surly agent that had refused to let her pass on her first day at the office continued to torment her._

_"I understand! It's just that the clock needs repairs, and I was hoping that-" She glanced over at the repairman, who was growing just as annoyed at her as with the agent. _

_"Lady, just bring the clock in!" the repairman snarled. "I don't have time for this."_

_"Well, you see, it's like this…" She fumbled with her words as she looked at the ground. "The Senator is out for the afternoon, and I just thought that getting the clock fixed would be a nice, y'know, surprise for him when he gets back."_

_"Surprise? For Nathan Petrelli?" The agent laughed. "Right."_

_"So, will you let him in?" she asked. _

_The agent chuckled and pulled her aside._

_"Look. I don't know WHO you think you are that you can balk at security like this, but the answer is NO! The answer will always be NO. So I guess you'll just have to find some other way to surprise your boyfriend." The agent sneered at her._

_"I, um. Well, about Nathan. You see, he's not-" She blushed and felt her pulse quicken at the accusation being said to her face. _

_Sure, she had heard the whispers and snarky comments of her colleagues when they thought she was out of earshot, accusing her of having more than just a professional relationship with the senator… but no one had ever confronted her face to face with it. She held the agent's gaze as tightly as he held her arm. He gut told her to yell at him, and tell him she would have his job for that kind of slander, but she knew that would only escalate the rumors around the office._

_"Is there a problem?" _

_Juliette had only been so relived to hear Nathan's voice one other time. She and the agent both turned to look at him, surprised._

_"Well, Agent Simmons?" he repeated. "Is there a problem?"_

_"Sir," the agent replied, released his grip of Juliette's arm, "Ms. O'Neil requests that I allow this clock repairman into the your section of the building, but as I have explained to her MANY times before-" _

_"That's enough," Nathan cut him off. Juliette stepped away from the agent and closer to Nathan. He glanced sideways at her, with an almost disapproving look in his eyes. He then turned to the repairman, pulled out his wallet, and removed a 100-dollar bill._

_"Sir, I'm sorry that my staff wasted your time." He said as he handed over the cash. "Thank you for coming all the way down here, but your services will not be needed."_

_"Hey, no problem, buddy." The repairman quickly shoved the bill into his pants pocket and left the building._

_Juliette stared down at her feet as the agent returned to his post. She didn't look up as she heard Nathan approached her. Her hair had come loose from the clip that held it back and fell in front of her face as she was wrestling herself out of the agent's grip. She hadn't moved it out of the way for fear of drawing any more attention to herself. _

_She didn't move. She barely breathed. _

_After a long silence, Nathan angled around her and up the stairs to his office. A few seconds later, Juliette raised her head and noticed the security personal sneering at her, so she averted her gaze and hurried up after her boss._

_"Senator?" she meekly called as she entered the office. "I thought you where in a meeting all afternoon?"_

_"Canceled." Nathan replied, his hands on his hips, as if pondering what sort of punishment to dole out on an insubordinate employee. His back was to her, and for that she was glad. She didn't want to see the look in his eyes._

Here we go again. Just like the last Job, and the one before that. You got too friendly, over stepped the professional boundaries, and now you'll be in the unemployment line, AGAIN!

_"Oh, well, great. I'll reschedule it for you," she tried. _

_"You didn't need to call a repairman," he interrupted. "The clock… it's no big deal."_

_"No big deal?" she replied, stunned. "I've seen you stare at that clock more than you do anything else in this office. How can it not be a big deal?"_

_"It's just not." Nathan turned to look at her, his expression softer and gentler than it had been downstairs. "Besides," he said as he stepped towards her. "I think I'm getting pretty close to understanding how to fix it."_

_"Fix the clock?" Juliette's eyes widened in disbelief._

_"What, you don't think I can do it?" Nathan smiled at her teasingly. _

_"Oh, no it's just- not really the kind of thing I would expect from a Senator," she explained quickly. _

_"Just what sort of things DO you expect from a Senator?" he asked, extending his hand to her face and brushing the hair from her eyes._

_She stepped back, visibly nervous._

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean," Nathan began._

_"No, it's fine. Just can't afford a decent haircut right now, so, that's kind of pointless," she stammered. "You know, trying to…" She touched the same strand of her hair he had just brushed away. _

_They both stood for a moment, barely meeting each other's eyes. Finally Juliette couldn't take it anymore and ended the silence._

_"Besides, you don't have repairmen hands." She laughed, trying to end the tension._

_"Repairing timepieces is a very refined art." The smile dropped from his face in an instant. "Hands have nothing to do with it. It's all in the mind." _

_Juliette opened her mouth, but no words came out. She had never heard Nathan speak about anything with such passion before. Sure, she'd seen him practice speeches for things he said he was passionate about, but this was different. This was… well, real._

_"I had no idea you knew so much about clocks."_

_"Timepieces," he corrected._

_"Right, Timepieces." She nodded. "I had no idea you knew so much about timepieces."_

_After another moment of awkward hush, Juliette turned slowly on her heel and walked out of the room, feeling a bit unsure about this new side of Nathan._

_"Yeah." Nathan said to himself after she was gone. "I had no idea I had so much knowledge about timepieces, either."_

__  
_

"Ms. O'Neil?"

Juliette lurched as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was-" She began.

"We're done here," The technician quickly yanked the electrodes from her chest without a hint of gentleness. "Your doctor will be receiving the results next week some time."

"Thank you." She sat up, buttoning her shirt and wincing in pain from the marks left by the swift removal of the electrodes. She grabbed her purse and jacket and hurried out quickly.

"Jerk" she muttered under her breath.

One nice thing about being referred to a new hospital was that her apartment was only a few short blocks away. The fresh air would clear her head, and hopefully, she could get a decent night sleep with a bit of light exercise.

She arrived at her door step, and reached into her purse for her keys.

She rummaged around, beginning to feel a bit nervous.

Crap! I must have left them at the hospital. She thought as she put her bag back on her shoulder and began to hurry in the direction she had come.

A few yards into the trip, she realized she could not have possibly left her keys at the hospital; she didn't need them there. She had taken them out of her purse earlier in the day while she had been searching for her medication, and she must have forgotten them at the office.

She fumbled for her cell phone and dialed the senator's office umber.

The phone rang several times until her own voice greeted her.

"You've reached the desk of-" the voice mail picked up.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Juliette clicked her phone shut and checked the time.

It was only four o'clock. She would be able to get back to the office via cab before closing time. Just as long as that hulking brute of a security agent would be so kind as to let her into Nathan's office to get her keys.

_

Juliette paid the cab driver and slid her security pass into the slot by the door so she could enter the building. She checked the time, but was disgusted to find that her watch still read four o'clock. Damn. Borken. She ripped it off her wrist and tossed it in her purse, hastily, and stepped in the building.

The surly doorman didn't look at her as she approached him.

"Hey, um Simmons?" She asked, as sweetly as she could

"Yes?" he relied coldly.

"I um, kinda left my keys on my desk, and so I can't go home without them and I was wondering if you could let me into the office, just for a moment."

"You know I can't leave my post." Simmons snarled.

"Well I was just hoping you could do me this tiny little favor."

She did her best to sound sweet, even though Simmons was her least favorite member of staff.

"No need. The Senator hasn't left for the evening yet." He stepped out of her way.

"Oh." Juliette looked up at the clock in the lobby. Already 6:30 and Nathan was still working? That was very unlike him.

She hurried up the stairs and put her hand on the door. The office was dark, but when she turned the handle, the door opened with ease.

She entered and squinted in the dark. Nathan must have fallen asleep on the sofa in his study, she thought. I'll have to be quite.

Juliette paused for a moment, thinking of entering the study to catch a glimpse of Nathan sleeping. She smiled to herself, then thought better of it. What a silly thing to consider.

She made her way to her desk and groped around in the dark, finding her keys right where she had set her purse down after lunch.

As she looked up, she noticed a soft glow emanating from Nathan's study. She paused and listened. She heard the noise of glass and metal softly clanging together, like someone was working on something.

She nearly tripped on the frame from the picture she had broken that afternoon, which now lay next to Nathan's study door. She peered inside, to see Nathan setting at his desk, the clock form his bookcase in front on him, the glass cover removed and several cogs and parts laid down on the desk beside it.

_He really CAN fix clocks!_ She thought to herself.

Such a curious person Nathan was turning out to be. At times he seemed all business, a classic senator, all slick talk and carefully crafted movements. Then there were times like the night of the Governer's Ball, when he seemed an entirely different person. Volatile, angry, intimidating…

Juliette found herself staring at her boss for what felt like hours.

She had seen two opposing sides of Nathan in her short time with him. Both appealed to her in a way that they should not. Part of her enjoyed being treated like a fine lady, the way that Nathan acting as a Senator did, while the other felt a rush of exhilaration as she recalled the night he has saved her from a drunken man at the Governors ball.

He had appeared just when she needed him to save her, like a knight in shining armor, or a protective lover.

Juliette felt herself blush at the latter, then remembered the harsh words Nathan's mother has scolded him with that very night when she though Juliette couldn't hear her. The blush melted from her cheeks and her mouth turned down.

_Lover? Yeah, right. Never going to happen_. She reminded herself.

She continued to watch as Nathan removed and inspected each part of the clock, looking at every piece with an expression of understanding and knowledge she had never seen before. He seemed so at peace, like he had been fixing clocks his whole life. His eyebrows would wrinkle ever so slightly when he removed and examined each gear.

Juliette stepped backwards to leave the office, but once again her clumsiness got the better of her. Her foot hit the frame that was resting on the floor and fell over with a loud crash. She quickly looked back at Nathan's study to find he had also been startled by the noise, and the hand that had been holding the glass dome was covered in blood.

Without thinking, Juliette rushed in to his study.

"Are you okay?" She gasped, rushing over to him and looking, panicked, at his bleeding hand.

"I'll be fine." He strained to sound light and airy, and opened his hand. Chunks of glass from the dome were protruding from the soft flesh of his palm, as blood flowed around the wounds.

"Let me help." Juliette pulled of her glasses and set them on his desk, and turned the lamp to get a closer look at the cuts. She quickly picked out the shard of glass and took a clean handkerchief from his desk, the only cloth available. She dabbed lightly at the blood, and then wrapped it tightly around his hand.

"You'll want to apply pressure, to stop the bleeding," she commanded.

"Um, right. Yeah." Nathan stood, gazing at her, half stunned. She rifled through her purse and pulled out a first aid kit. Hey, when you had two left feet, you never know when you'd need one.

"Thank You." Nathan met her eyes when she turned back to him.

"What?" she asked. "Thanks for startling you, and breaking your clock, and making you bleed all over your desk?"

He smiled at her, and with his free hand, touched her face where her glasses usually sat.

"I've never seen you without your glasses on." He tilted his head down and stared at her, and she gazed back, unable to help herself.

"Well, I can't really see very well close up with them on," she began. "I need some new ones, but I just," She trailed off, noticing his hand was sill rested on her cheek as she spoke. She found it oddly soothing, despite the chaotic events of the past few minutes.

"You should keep them off more often." Nathan said with a small twinkle in his eye. He then realized his mistake and turned his eyes from her quickly, clearing his throat.

"Well, let's have a look at your hand," she said, hastily changing the subject. "It might need stitches."

She gently unwrapped the towel from his hand and blinked, hardly believing her own eyes.

Where just a few moments ago there had been bleeding cuts, there was… nothing! She touched the tips of his fingers to the center of his palm, thinking her eyes were playing tricks other, but the cuts had just vanished.

"What's the matter?" Nathan was watching her, not his hand.

"Your hand, it-" She stuttered a bit, and looked back and forth from his face to his palm. "It's healed!"

"What do you mean it's-" Nathan began as he lifted his hand to his own eye level. Just as she had said, the cuts that had marred his hands had simply vanished, leaving no trace. "Healed?" he finished.

Nathan looked quickly from his hand, to Juliette to the clock on his desk, its pieces now littered in chunks of blood covered glass.

"How did… I mean- what…" Juliette was more shaken now by what she was seeing now than she had been by the gruesome wounds that were there before.

"How did your hand heal?" she asked him quietly.

"I don't know." He rotated his hand to see it from all angles, holding it up to the light, as if hoping to find the wounds had just been hidden by the darkness. After a few moments, he looked at Juliette and said

"I don't know how this happened. But I know someone who will."

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A/N

Brain's Notes: Thanks to everyone who added us to your Favorite Story/Author Alert/Story Alert subscription! We really appreciate it! Thanks also to those of you who reviewed. We can't express how much it means.

I feel like I should say something about this chapter but... I don't know what to say other than we're getting closer to who we really want to see.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Love is a Temporary Madness

Author: Pinky and the Brain/ShenanaginsProductions

Summary: What are the circumstances surrounding Noah Gray's birth? Who is his mother? Why is he blonde? How can he exist in this new timeline? When was he conceived?

Disclaimer: We wish we owned Sylar, but we don't. He belongs to the creators of Heroes, as does the rest of the world. We think.

A/N

Brain's Notes: This is our shortest chapter. It also took the longest. ^.^ But I think this was one of the funnest chapters to write. Enjoy!

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Angela Petrelli was just finishing the first course of her Field Club meal (broiled oysters in a balsamic reduction- her favorite) when her cell phone rang.

"Angela Petrelli," she answered in a brisk tone, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with her napkin as the busboy came and replaced her oysters with a baby spinach salad.

"Ma."

Nathan's tone sounded choked, almost as though he had been crying. Angela was immediately on alert, setting her fork down and leaning forward.

"Nathan. What is it?" she asked gently, yet with a hint of urgency.

"I need to see you. Now," her son's voice answered. Without hesitation, Angela signaled to the waiter for her check.

"I'm on my way home right now, actually. Is there something wrong?" She sounded outwardly calm, but inside her heart rate had increased slightly.

"I'll tell you when I get there." The line went blank, as did Angela's mind.

_

Nathan arrived just after she did. Angela was setting her keys down on the entrance table in the foyer when he burst through the door. His chest was heaving as though he had been running, but his car was parked in the driveway. His expression was slightly anxious, and the tenseness in his posture suggested he was much more riled than he was letting on.

"Explain this." Without so much as a greeting, he strode forward and shoved his palm in front of her face.

Nothing was there.

"I- I…" It was one of the few times in her life Angela did not know what to say.

"Can you see it?" he demanded.

"Nathan." She took her son's hand between hers and squeezed lightly. "There's nothing to see."

He ripped away from her abruptly, and color rose to her cheeks. "Exactly."

He stormed into the living room and stopped in the middle of the room, where he stood with his hands on his hips, staring at her expectantly. His square jaw was set, and his lips were a thin line.

"Tell me what happened, Nathan." She walked slowly forward, putting a slight emphasis on his name. He flinched at the sound.

"Do you want to know what should be there?" he asked quietly. He looked at the ground and ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it back. Angela drew in a sharp breath at the very un-Nathan-like gesture.

"Tell me everything, Nathan," she soothed, finally having reached him. She put her hands reassuringly on his shoulders, and his head snapped up.

"There should be a cut there. A slice. Blood. Something. I just cut myself on a very large piece of glass. I…" he trailed off, staring intently at Angela.

She froze momentarily, a muscle in her neck flexing. But she soon recovered, and patted her son's shoulders reassuringly. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, Nathan."

"I only know two other people who can heal like that. One of them is my daughter. The other is dead." He bared his teeth, his gaze never leaving Angela's.

Angela Petrelli sighed audibly. She backed away slowly, a soft smile on her lips. "Oh, Nathan." The face of her son stared confusedly at her as she reached down slowly and picked up a small candlestick from the coffee table. "I'm so sorry."

In one swift movement, she lunged forward, and with a large clang, the body of her son slumped to the floor, unconscious. Angela Petrelli stared at him for a moment before putting the candlestick back in its place and taking her phone out of her pocket.

Her French-Manicured fingers swiftly dialed a number that she knew all too well. The line rang once, twice, three times before an exasperated sounding voice picked up.

"What do you want?"

Angela looked back at the body laying on the floor beneath her feet. Was it just her, or had Nathan's hair turned a shade darker? "Mr. Parkman," she addressed him. "We have some cleaning up to do."

_

"I'm not going to do it again." Matt Parkman crossed his arms and glared at Angela. Between them Nathan Petrelli laid, unconscious, on Angela's sofa.

"You have to, Mr. Parkman. You committed to this. We need Nathan." Angela's arms were also crossed, her lips a thin line, her expression smug.

"And what happens when he starts to doubt again? Do I just have to keep doing this over and over? That wasn't part of the deal," Matt protested, moving away from the body on the sofa. Slowly, ever so slowly, the features of Nathan Petrelli were beginning to change. The face was growing slightly longer, the body slimmer…

Angela leaned forward and placed her hands on the back of the leather couch. "So what happens when_ he_," she gestured to her son's gradually shifting figure, "wakes up and realizes he's been duped? What are we supposed to do then?"

Matt turned his head, glancing unsurely at Nathan. "I just can't keep doing this," he breathed.

"You won't have to. We just need him long enough for the Company to be up and running again, with a good public face at its head. I'll keep more diligent watch over him." She nodded, almost to herself.

"This is sick. You're just using him until you don't need him anymore? Then what? You kill him? I don't want to be a part of that," Matt spat.

"You forget who you're talking about," Angela murmured. Matt's shoulders lowered slightly as Nathan's nose grew a fraction larger while they spoke.

"Please, Mr. Parkman. It's too late for you not to be a part of this. You're in, whether you like it or not. Now stick to your commitment. Make him Nathan," Angela said in a steady voice. Matt closed his eyes as though he was willing himself to be somewhere else. However, when he opened his eyes, there was a new determination shining in their depths. He stepped slowly forward and crouched down so that he was level with the couch. With one final, unsure glance at Angela, he reached forward and turned Nathan's head so that they were facing each other. Nathan jolted, his eyelids fluttering open. His eyes were black as pitch, and his eyelashes were darker than the rest of the hair on his head.

"You are Nathan Petrelli," Matt muttered, tilting his head and staring with an intimidating intensity at the man in front of him. "You are not Sylar. You are Nathan Petrelli, son, senator, father, brother. You are Nathan."

Nathan's face seemed to bubble and shift, and he growled in a voice that sounded nothing like Angela Petrelli's son. Matt shook Nathan's face, forcing the dark eyes open. They glowered balefully at him as he began chanting. "You are Nathan. You are Nathan."

Nathan ground his teeth and grunted. His eyes closed again as his face continued to shift sickeningly. When his eyes flashed open again, they were a much lighter shade of brown. Matt felt smiled with relief despite himself. "You are Nathan Petrelli," he said a final time.

It was complete. The body on the couch was indeed Nathan Petrelli, bearing no more resemblance to the monster who had been responsible for his death.

"Thank you," Angela said in the most grateful of voices. Matt stood up and turned his back to her.

Abruptly, a shrill ringing broke the sudden silence, forcing both of them to jump in surprise. Angela looked to Matt, who pivoted to look back at her. Their eyes both lowered at the same time to Nathan. Angela slowly reached into her son's jacket pocket and pulled out a small Razor phone. She flipped it open, frowning.

"Nathan has a new voicemail…" she said slowly. Without hesitation, she scrolled through his messages, and pressed speaker.

"Hi, Nathan… I mean, Senator," a breathless voice emitted from the phone, "It's Juliette."

Angela's eyes narrowed as the message continued. "I was just wondering if you were okay. I guess, well, I guess it's okay if you're not, but I'm really worried over what happened. Please give me a call. I hope it all works out. Well, bye."

Matt didn't know why Angela suddenly looked so somber. She pressed a single button, and with a beep a cool female voice announced, "Message deleted." With a snap, she closed the phone and replaced it in Nathan's pocket.

Without looking up she said, "Mr. Parkman… I have one more task for you."

_

Matt Parkman was not prepared to find a fragile, innocent looking blond girl to greet him. She couldn't have been more than twenty-five, with wide eyes and a pale complexion.

She reminded him of Daphne.

She was nowhere near as strong, and her face was rather thin and pallid, but she had the same brightness in her eyes, the same confidence in her posture although she was tiny, and her hair was the same shade of golden blond.

And it was then that he knew that he could not carry out the other half of his duty.

Angela's words rang in his head as he approached the front desk of Petrelli's office. "She knows too much, her memory must be…. altered. She is a danger to us all. I fear that Nathan has developed feelings for her, and the sooner they both forget about that, the sooner she can stop meddling."

A nuisance. That's what Angela had called her. Harmless, but irksome, and distracting to Nathan. Poor girl, she didn't know what she was getting herself into. She thought she was falling for a state senator, a dignified political figure. Little did she know, she was working towards the exact opposite.

What could she know of the evils that lurked just around the corner? Of the distrust and injustice he had to deal with every day? She had probably never even been robbed. He was a mind-reader. This gave him insight on people rarely found by anyone else. He could tell that she was the least of Angela Petrelli's worries. He had no right to mess with anyone's mind, least of all hers. She deserved to know what she was getting herself into, but it wasn't his place. All he could do was give her the liberty of her memories.

He could just tell Mrs. Petrelli that Juliette O'Neil wasn't in the office when he'd gone to get her.

He turned sharply, intending on leaving the office before she noticed he was there.

Too late.

"Excuse me? Can I help you?" She called after him.

He stopped short, and turned back around, smiling. "Oh, I was just looking for the Senator, but I can see he's not here." No duh.

The girl's face fell; at the mention of her boss she looked concerned, and sad, and although she was not thinking of anything specific, she was definitely worried about him. It was odd how clearly her eyes betrayed everything she was feeling. He hardly had to listen to her thoughts.

"You're right… he's not. Can I have your name? I'll tell him to call you." She smiled in a professional yet detached manner.

"No, that's all right, I don't want to make more work for you. I'll just come back later. It's really not that important," Matt shrugged.

"No, really, it's all right," she insisted.

Matt ground his teeth against the urge to persuade her to drop it with his power. "All right," he agreed.

He approached the desk, scanning the contents curiously as he did. There was a bottle of pills, a laptop, some post-it notes, a pad of paper… nothing really out of the ordinary. Right next to her, however, he noticed that she had a latte with the name "Nathan Petrelli" scrawled on it in sharpie marker stowed away beside her for when her boss returned.

She really did care for him.

"May I have your name?" she asked politely, pen at the ready.

Matt sighed. He couldn't let this go on. She seemed like a nice person; she didn't deserve to have her heart ripped in two by this monster in Nathan's body (perhaps literally).

He leaned forward, and she raised her eyebrow at the gesture. "I didn't come here to see the senator," he murmured, "I came here to see you." He could still be persuasive without the use of his power, it was just… more difficult. "You're getting into something you really shouldn't be a part of." Juliette's eyes widened, and she wrinkled her forehead, taken aback. "The senator isn't the man you think he is. If I were you I'd… I'd stop now before it's too late."

Leaving her aghast with that somewhat cryptic, creepy warning, he spun around and walked swiftly out of the office.

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A/N

Brain's Notes: We know the ending was abrupt, but we couldn't figure out how else to finish it. I love how Angela is so heartless, don't you?


	4. Chapter 4

Brain's Notes:

Don't kill me!!! I know, I know. It's taken a while. But we had a few problems. Pinky was discouraged from writing because she discovered some mistake's she'd been making that I didn't want to tell her about because I knew it would have that effect. I was too busy to edit for a long time, but after reading some heart-warming reviews from a bunch of you awesome people out there, decided to press on and finish up chapter 4! Enjoy.

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If Juliette had run any faster up the stairs of the office building where she was employed she may have set a new climbing record. Her heart was pounding in her ears; not from the swiftness of her ascent or the weight of the laptop case she held, but from nerves. Nathan hadn't returned her phone calls. She considered calling him twice the night before, but she figured A) he needed some space and B) she would look a bit desperate. However, she could not help the excited and slightly anxious feeling that tickled her chest.

She had seen him heal right before her eyes from a multitude of wounds, and he rushed off before she could talk more to him about what had caused it.

He said he had to see someone who would know what his 'ability' was all about.

After setting down her laptop case with clumsy speed, she straightened her top and gave herself a moment to relax. She couldn't walk into his office looking frazzled. She was here to work. Even so, her tongue was practically itching to ask him all about what had happened the day before. In her hands she held a tray of coffee. Today, it was less of an offering to her boss and more of an excuse to go into his office. She took a deep breath, strode forward, and finding the door unlocked, stepped inside.

He sat with his feet on his desk, reading the morning paper.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked breathlessly. She could have smacked herself. The words escaped before her brain had a chance to filter them. What an unprofessional way to start a conversation…

"Of course, Ms. O'Neil." He replied in a professional tone, closing up the paper and dropping his legs. "Why wouldn't I be?" He looked slightly bored, maybe even a bit agitated.

"Well." She faltered, hurrying forward to set his Latte down on his desk. "With what happened with the clock, I just thought you might not be doing so well." There. Subtle, yet clear enough that he would know what she was talking about.

Or not. "Clock?" he asked.

Juliette's eyes snapped up to his, confused.

"Yes, the clock," she repeated. "Three days ago, when you cut your hand and," she lowered her voice. "Healed," she whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.

Nathan crinkled his forehead and moved just out of her reach.

"Ms. O'Neil, I have no idea what it is you are referring to," he looked down at her outstretched hand, "But I urge you to address me in a more professional manner."

He stood with finality and turned away from her in a rather rude, stuffy manner, staring out the window and adjusting his tie.

What on earth was happening?

"Nathan?" she asked, tentatively approaching him again, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Professional Manner!" he snapped, turning to glare at her. "Do I have to repeat myself?" His eyes narrowed.

"No, Sir." Her eyes widened and she took a tiny step backwards.

"Now, I believe you have work to do?" he demanded, pointing at the door.

"Yes, Sir."

Juliette's mind whirred so fast everything felt and seemed dizzy and fogged. She was hardly present as she completed her morning duties, almost as though she were a robot programmed to work and nothing else. She had so many confused, hurt thoughts it was enough to preoccupy her until the end of the century. Maybe he was in denial. Perhaps the person he'd gone to see had done something to him. Or maybe… maybe she was being shunned because she had witnessed something she wasn't meant to see.

Now she was sounding like a woman from a science fiction story. But she couldn't help it. People don't just… heal.

She tried again after her lunch break to get him to talk with her about what had happened. This time, she went in prepared to be cold-shouldered. She was ready for anything, and at the same time frightened. But she had to get to the bottom of what was going on, otherwise it would bother her until the end of time.

"Did you send the clock in to be repaired?" she asked as she set his afternoon Latte on his desk.

"What clock?" he asked distractedly, not looking up from the clutter of papers on his desk.

"The clock on your bookshelf? Your FAVORITE clock?" she persevered.

"Ms. O'Neil, I do NOT have a "favorite clock," he stated coolly. "Nor did I ask you to bring me any coffee."

_Oh, what the HELL? _She thought. _He doesn't even want his coffee?_

That was the last straw. She wanted answers, and she wanted them now. Tears threatened to spill over as she desperately tried to come up with a reason as to why he would be so… mean to her.

"Nathan!" She exclaimed helplessly. His head snapped up, his eyes narrowed. He was frowning angrily.

"Ms. O'Neil, I urge you to," he began.

"Nathan! Please," she begged. "You can't keep pretending what happened the other night never happened!" She was beginning to be alarmed by his behavior. "Explain to me what's going on!"

He stood up, his chair rolling away and clanging into the window behind him from the force. He stepped slowly, menacingly around his desk until he was standing face-to-face with her.

"You are suspended, go home," he said lowly.

"Suspended?" she choked, too shocked to form coherent words.

"Take a week off, unpaid," he continued coldly. "And I expect the proper level of professionalism when you return. IF you return." He crossed his arms and nodded his head in the direction of the door.

She swallowed hard. Panic griped her chest. How could she convince him of what had happened? Why didn't he remember? Was she going crazy?

Her eyes searched his, desperate to find some clue as to his behavior. She found nothing but anger, and annoyance. She looked down to brace herself against the painful feeling in her chest, taking heaving breaths.

That's when her eyes fell upon the letter opener.

Was she going insane? She was beginning to doubt herself. Did he really heal the other night, or was it all a fantasy she'd dreamed up? No. It happened. It had to have happened. She could replay the memory as though it were occurring right in front of her. She had to prove to him, as well as herself, that she wasn't going crazy. She pushed past him, almost blind from the tears that had just begun to stream down her face, and took the letter opener in a trembling fist. She turned, holding it like a knife, and heaved a gasping breath.

"What are you doing?" Nathan began, raising his hands up in defense. He took a step backwards. "Ms. O'Neil, I'm sure we can talk about this calmly…"

She didn't respond. If she was going crazy, she may as well take the ball and run like hell with it. With a flick of her wrist, she'd made a small cut along one of his raised hands and dropped the sharp letter opener with a clang.

He gasped in pain, and gripped his hand in surprise. He looked from his hand to her, and his shocked expression soon turned to the most baleful glare she'd ever seen in her life. She almost cringed away from it.

"You are fired. Get the hell out of my office NOW!" He wasn't screaming. In fact, he was speaking in a voice so low she could hardly hear him.

Her eyes flashed to his hand, and with a relieved sigh she gestured to them, tears still pouring.

Nathan looked down at his bloody hand; bloody, but not bleeding. He held it up, examining it with a look of pure astonishment. The wound that was there just moments ago had vanished.

"What did you do to me?" he demanded, his chest heaving with anger and fear.

No! He thought. I can't heal. I DO NOT HEAL! Only one other man heals, and he's… he's.

"I didn't do anything," Juliette whimpered softly. "I just had to be sure. I had to show you, what you did."

Nathan shoved her aside, franticly looking for the door to his office. She stumbled, but caught herself on the edge of his desk, still crying and fearful, but now 100% sure she wasn't going batty.

"No. It's impossible!" he screamed, in a voice that made her shiver. He didn't sound like Nathan.

His back was to her as he fell to his knees, gripping the hand that had healed close to his chest.

"Nathan?" Juliette whispered, rising so that she was standing behind him. Her hand shook violently as she placed it on his shoulder. When he didn't move, she dropped to her knees behind him and waited for him to speak.

Was she hearing things? His body seemed to be making the strangest noises; like his bones were popping repeatedly and his skin was shifting. She pulled away with a gasp as his shoulder muscle seemed to jolt.

"Nathan?" she bit her lip. Her employer, and her friend hunched forward with a slight whine. Juliette had never been in a situation where she had been so afraid for another person before.

Not only that but… was he… taller? Instead of looking forward she found her eyes raising up slightly to look at the back of his head. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was shrinking back from him and she didn't even realize.

Nathan panted, again in a voice not his own. He seemed dizzy, disoriented. He hunched over more, but this time it was to retrieve the letter opener she had dropped. It was laying right in front of him. He gripped it with white knuckles, his body jerking.

_Why is his hair like that?_ Juliette was beginning to think she had stepped into a nightmare. She took a deep breath and used the table to once again rise to her feet. She stepped around him, and as soon as she did so fell to her knees again.

She couldn't believe her own eyes.

Nathan was NOT Nathan, that was certain.

"What ARE you?" she choked on the words.

The man who kneeled pathetically in front of her looked pained, tormented, confused. In addition to his face and body changing, his eyes looked darker, more dangerous than she had ever seen.

He looked up at her slowly, and she backed away frantically, her muscles too numb to let her climb to her feet and run.

Darkness. That's all she could think of as he got to his feet. She looked up at him, and had she been able to find her voice, would have begged him not to hurt her. Without a single word, he muttered something and ran from the office.

Juliette slumped to the floor. No. This couldn't be happening. Who was that man? She had never seen him before in her life. He didn't resemble Nathan Petrelli in the slightest. He was too tall, too lean, and his features were much too dark. As she rested her head against the cold wood finish of Nathan's office floor, she realized she was still crying. She had no strength to pick herself up. She only had the coherency to hope that what she had just witnessed was a dream.

She arrived at the door of Nathan's house (house? More like mansion) less than an hour later. She was surprised and alarmed to find the front door was ajar. She had to force herself to step inside.

She had only been in Nathan's home one other time. He had called her at her apartment on a Saturday and asked for her him to bring him some papers that couldn't wait. Of course she had obliged him.

Her heels clicked softly on the tile floor of the entryway. The house was so quiet, and so huge compared to the tiny apartment she lived in.

She slowly moved through Nathan's house, her eyes absorbing her surroundings, entrancing her.

She was startled by a strangled, biting cry of pain from upstairs.

"Nathan!" She gasped to herself, rushing to the stairs despite her better judgment. Her legs carried her without her consent, and by the time she had reached the top step she was sure that going there was the worst mistake she had ever made in her life. But she had gone to investigate what the hell was going on, and damn it she was going to go through with it. She'd come this far. She had to be brave. She had to know what was happening to her boss. It was a morbid curiosity that she was sure would be the death of her.

As she approached the only door in the long hallway that was open, she paused. What would she find in there? Would she find Nathan, or the man she had never seen before, the one that frightened and intrigued her? She was positive that if she didn't go inside that room, it would bother her to the point of obsession her entire life. She needed answers.

She heard another cry, and what sounded like sobbing. The voice was most definitely not Nathan's. It was too deep, too… she couldn't think of a word to describe it. Different.

Gripped with fear, she clenched her fists and stepped inside the room, her jaw tight.

What she saw made her stomach churn.

The man sat, huddled in the corner of what seemed to be Nathan's home office, drenched in blood. He held the bloody letter opener she had first cut him with in his left hand. A deep gash on his right wrist was dripping with blood. It fell to the floor in a sickening arc. Then… the wound was gone.

"No." He muttered at his arm. "Stop it!"

She gasped as he shoved the blade into his arm again, dragging his flesh up in chunks with the blade in a jagged pattern. He made the same agonized, stricken cry she had heard before.

He paused and stared at his arm, blood gushing from the wound, onto his slacks, spilling down onto the floor, staining the carpet in a pool. His eyes widened as he began to heal.

"NO!" He shouted. "NO, GOD DAMN IT! NO!"

He raised the blade again.

"NATHAN!" Juliette couldn't bear to watch him slice himself so brutally again. She twitched, as though resisting the urge to go forward and approach him. "Nathan, STOP!" she commanded in a shaken voice.

"Nathan?" His eyes raised to hers, and she once again twitched, this time resisting the urge to run away as he barked out a peel of laughter. His laughter was eerie, she might even call it demented. It was not the laugh she knew Nathan Petrelli to have. The laughter soon turned to a choked sob, his jaw quivering.

"Not… Nathan," he whispered hoarsly, clutching the letter opener so tightly she could see the whites of his knuckles.

"Nathan." Once again tears welled up in her eyes, and despite herself she moved forward and sank down next to him. He didn't look at her. She still found him threatening, but the vulnerable, anguished look in his eyes was too much for her to bear. She reached forward and attempted to pry the letter opener from his hands. He held on tight.

"No." he muttered. "No, Juliette. I don't think… I don't think I'm Nathan."

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Pinky's Notes:

OOOOOKay!

sorry for the delay.

Brain is a genius who fixed my crap fic.

I have been reading some excellent sy-fic and i have some technique books on the way to me now. i also have both the heroes box sets on the way and plan to study Sylar and his interactions with "normal" people.

This story, to me, is worth doing properly. Brain agrees

she saved this chapter.  
it took so much hard work on her part and she took my little pile of poorly composed words and good ideas and molded them into beauty.

Thank you, Brain!

***

Brain's Notes:

She's being way too hard on herself. We won't take that long on chapter 5! Don't worry people.


	5. Chapter 5

Brain's Notes:

Hi all! This is our shortest chapter so far, but I think it's totally worth it. One of my faves, actually. We're really starting to see our boy blossom. I'd like to give a heartfelt thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys keep us going. Also to those who added us to your story alerts/favorites, we're totally honored!

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Juliette wrenched her hand away from Nathan's.

"What…" she tried to think of a suitable question. She drew a deep breath, taking a moment to sort out her thoughts. _Okay_, was the one thought in particular that found it's way to front and center,_ you_ _have two options: Stay with the freakshow or leave and pretend this never happened_. Staring at the broken, sobbing man in front of her, she could not find the power within herself to stand. "…do you mean?" she asked finally.

"I mean," Nathan, or whoever he was, whined, "I can't do this. I don't heal. That's not my power." His chest heaved in an agonizing breath, and Juliette clenched her fists. How to reassure this stranger, when she herself had no idea who he was? Or why he looked the way he did all of the sudden? This man looked nothing like Nathan. But he acted like him, for all that she could tell. She was at a loss, but she tried anyway.

"I… don't understand anything that's going on right now," she spoke slowly, unsurely. "Nathan," she said, almost as though it were a question. He winced at the sound of the name. At least he recognized it. She continued, "Nathan, I don't know who this Sylar person is but- you're a good person," she offered meekly as a conclusion.

"There's things about me you can't even begin to understand," Nathan spat. His wounds had all healed completely now; his fingers loosened on the blade in his hand until it dropped to the floor of it's own accord. "I can't remember. I mean, I can. I remember what happened last week, last month, two months ago... but before that it's all_ fucking_ confusing." Angrily, he slammed his fist into the wall next to him, baring his teeth. Juliette jumped despite herself.

She stood up again, legs shaky, and inched her way to the desk Nathan was leaning against. "We can talk about this," she half-whispered. "Let me help you." With trembling hands, she reached for the light switch on the wall next to her and flicked it on. Both she and Nathan closed their eyes against the sudden onslaught of bright light. Juliette's eyes temporarily lost focus, and she took a moment to get her wits about her.

She slowly opened her lids, and again looked down at the man she had only clearly seen once before. His eyes were still closed, his head leaning against the desk exposing his slender neck. She gasped despite herself, again fighting against the fear that racked through her chest. This man's frame was taller and slimmer than the senator's. His lips were thinner and his face longer; his hair slightly more dark and wild.

What was that in her eyes? Tears? Was she crying? She couldn't help herself. She was scared, worried, anxious, confused… all those emotions had to manifest themselves in some way, no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. "Please." She stated in a semi-steady voice. "Help me understand what's going on."

Nathan opened his eyes, his dark orbs burning into her with a fiery intensity. "It started with the eclipse," he muttered. "I know that much. My brother and I discovered that we had," he hesitated. "Powers."

Juliette was positive that whether or not this was the truth, Nathan believed it was, so she listened intently.

"My brother kept saying that we were all in danger. Of an explosion. I didn't listen. I almost destroyed New York._ He _almost destroyed New York. Thanks to Sylar."

There it was. That name again. Morbid curiosity gripped her, and she sank down next to him again. "Who is he? That Sylar person? You think that you're him?"

"I sure look like him," he said bitterly, raising his hands to touch his own face. "He's a murderer. A psychopath. He killed people for their powers. But he's… dead. My brother killed him. I… killed him." He looked reflective for a moment.

"Killed people for their powers? What do you mean?" Juliette asked quietly, almost afraid to break the spell of calm that had washed over the man in front of her.

"He desperately wanted to be special," Nathan was speaking so low she had to lean closer to hear him. "Wanted to make his mother happy. Wanted to _be _somebody. He had a power; intuitive aptitude. The ability to know what makes things _tick_. He could look inside someone's brain," he moved his hand out like he was grabbing for something, then turned his palm over. "And voila, he knew how their power worked. How_ they_ worked. The hunger for more powers consumed him."

Juliette looked him over uncertainly. "You sure know a lot about him." Nathan was speaking as though he knew this Sylar person's inner most thoughts. A sudden thought of her own crossed her- maybe Nathan had multiple personality disorder. But did people with multiple personality disorder change the way they looked as well as their personalities? No… it was impossible to do that. Or so she had thought before.

"They told me," he whispered as though she had not spoken "they told me that while I fought Sylar, I was knocked cold. He would have killed me if my brother hadn't stabbed him in the head." He stopped, and wiped at his eyes with a blood encrusted palm. Juliette took off her scarf and handed it to him silently. Without acknowledging her he took the cloth and buried his face in it.

"I saw his body," he moaned. "I saw it burn. I saw the fucker die."

Juliette made a move to stand up, but he grabbed her suddenly wrist suddenly to stop her. "Why am I like this?" he demanded. "Why am I that psycho?"

"You're not," she tried to assure him, although she was beginning to loose circulation from the tight clutch he had on her wrist. It wasn't threatening, just… desperate. "From what you tell me of this Sylar character, he's evil. You're not an evil person," she coaxed soothingly.

"But," Nathan began. Juliette cut him off, placing her other hand on his.

"What else could this Sylar person do? Aside from heal?" she asked in what she hoped was a calm voice.

"Shape shift."

Juliette nodded slowly. Heal and shape shift. So far she wasn't doing so well in dissuading him from the idea that he was Sylar.

"Fine. What else?" she inquired.

"He could move things," Nathan said, "with his mind."

"Telekinesis?" she asked. Nathan nodded.

After a night like tonight, she was willing to believe anything was possible. Still. Telekinesis was a long shot. Her heart began to race, causing her to place a hand on her chest. She hadn't taken her meds in four hours. Bad. But she had to stay here. She had to be strong… Nathan needed her. And no matter what her mind said, she still cared for him. So deeply it was almost scary.

"Well… move something then. If you really think you're him," she challenged. She made a move to stand up again, and this time he let her, relinquishing his grasp on her wrist. She placed a pencil in the center of the desk and gestured to it. "Move it."

He sat still for a moment, gazing at the pencil. The only sound in the room was that of his shallow breathing, and Juliette's own heart pounding in her ears.

"Nathan, move the pencil," she commanded.

He reached to pick the pencil up from the desk. She clamped her hand over his gently, almost smiling. Almost.

"Move it with your mind," she said softly.

He looked up at her, fear and question in his eyes. "What if I can do it?" he whispered.

Juliette didn't answer right away. Instead, she folded her arms and thought about an appropriate response. She didn't think he could do it, hell, she _hoped_ he couldn't do it. But what if he could? "Well. You won't," she said finally. "Because you're not Sylar. You're Nathan."

She glanced away from his eyes, unable to bear the agonizing fear that shone through them. "Just try. Then we'll know and we can go and get this sorted out." _Get you to a shrink_, she added in her mind.

He sat up straight, and spoke loudly as though trying to convince himself. "Okay. Nothing to fear, because I can't move things with my mind."

"Right," she agreed, only half believing her own words.

He raised his left hand and extended two fingers towards the pencil, the way he remembered seeing Sylar do it countless times before. He paused momentarily, and glanced again at Juliette, who held her breath.

"Just try to do it," she urged.

_Oh God, Please DON'T do it, _she thought

He focused his mind on the pencil, and shut his eyes.

For several moments it was as though time stood still. Juliette was hoping against hope that the pencil wouldn't move. She watched both the pencil and Nathan, her eyes flicking back and forth, her shoulders tensed.

After a minute or so, he finally opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. The pencil was in the exact same spot it had been before he tried to move it. A cheerful smile spread across his face and he laughed. Juliette couldn't help it. She smiled as well. "I told you."

He dropped his hand to his side, chuckling. Juliette's expression abruptly fell.

His eyes widened and he looked up at the pencil. But it was no longer there. He swallowed hard. Hardly daring to allow himself to hope it was not so, he turned his head to look in the direction he had waved his hand just seconds before.

The pencil was embedded in the wall across from him, hardly visible save for the eraser.

Silence.

"What does that mean?" Juliette choked on her own words.

He did not answer. He was frozen, gaze locked on the pencil.

"Nathan! What does this mean?!" Juliette demanded, crossing the threshold to stand in front of him, tears finally escaping the confines of her eyes.

"I'm not Nathan," he whispered.

"What?"

_I misheard him. Oh, please let me have misheard him._

"I'M NOT NATHAN." He rose, grabbing her shoulders, almost throttling her. She squeaked in surprise.

"Natha-" he cut her off, eyes cold and hard, and shouted:

"My name is SYLAR!"

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Brain's Notes: Kitten just couldn't help herself with that last line. :-D Hope you enjoyed! Please review. Love you all!


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